[Dark Stranger]

Let's see if you guys can help me out figuring WTF am i feeling right now. It's not fear. It's not disappointment. Somewhat close to despair, but man, it's not despair if i'm thinking "Meh, whatever, life goes on". And at the same moment, it feels like the world is ending.

What, should i do drugs? Drink myself into frikkin coma? Now let's be honest - I brought this shit upon myself. What kinda fucktard doesn't do his shit in time? And now I've spent a whole damn year on "doing" my stuff, and you know what? I never started. Does that mean I don't really need it? Oh hell yeah, that's exactly what it means. Then again, I DO need it. It's like, my whole life depends on it. What, am I too naive? Should i play fukken poker like Dimgo(tm)? It's not like i can't learn how to if i put my mind to it. But man. I spent, what, like, five last years trying to convince myself that i do NOT need a degree to be successful. And i did. Then why am i feeling what i'm feeling?

What I mean to say, simply put, is:
How come I'm not satisfied with the result if i knew it was coming for a hell of a long time?

UPD.
I just put this through Google Translator. A little bit of lulz makes everything look brighter =)

@музыка: The Beatles - Here, There and Everywhere -> Let It Be

Comments

[N.L.]

навскидку, я бы сказал, что тебе нужно какое-то ДЕЛО

[Dark Stranger]

Дел у меня непочатый край, как тех, которыми я хотел бы заняться, так и тех, которыми бы не хотел. В этом-то и проблема.

[N.L.]

дела, это не то. Это суета и рутина. А вот ДЕЛО, это то ради чего ты живешь в данный момент времени, о чем думаешь постоянно, то что не выходит у тебя из головы.

[Dark Stranger]

N.L., возможно. Я пока такого не вижу =)

[N.L.]

Ищи) Без этого и жизнь не жизнь

[Dark Stranger]

N.L.,
- Гусман!
- Здесь!
- Куклман, опять вы?
- Я ищу себя!
(с) КВН, Пирамида